“The trick has been to live in the contradictions while maintaining principles, beliefs, and purpose.” ― Eve Ensler
Phix's Curiosity: what sparks my interest
Watch this space to see what's sparked my interest this week. A random grab bag of delights!
I've been thinking about guiding principles lately. Some people are really clear about what their guiding principles are in just a few words. I often just use my top three values as short hand to describe my principles - integrity, community, order (think knowledge organization in as many different ways as it can show up in life). I also have a bunch of quotes that I tend to keep around as reminders.
One of these is by Martha Graham, one of the leading mothers of the modern dance form. At a time when I really needed to hear it, this quote appeared in my life. My bold...
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.
Only *you*, only *I*, can do what you/I do the way we do it. No one else. We can learn and grow, we can change, we can even transform, but in the end, what we bring to the world is uniquely our own expression of what we are doing.
I'm a little resistant to learning more from other people about "how to spin" and "how to weave" because part of the joy of those activities for me are the blind experimentation and the meditative calm of allowing something to emerge that is wholly and completely entirely a pure expression of my own creation.
I took guitar lessons and can (mostly, sometimes) learn there, but my guitar has "high action" (the strings are a little further from the fretboard than typical) and I use medium instead of light strings (and I used to use heavy instead of medium) which makes it further somewhat difficult to play. In part this was incidental, I came to appreciate it as defense from the boys who'd commandeer a guitar from any girl who had one and they'd try with my guitar then whine about how hard it was to play. To which my response, whether I verbalized it or not was, 'huh. I don't care if *you* can play *my* instrument." It was a way that I was able to re/claim my space and my right to participate. My expression, backwards and in heels, and wholly mine.
It's a lesson I'm still learning - not to ask for feedback that I don't actually want. And learning to actually ask for feedback I do want. Evolutions of expression.
Guiding principle:
It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.
Medusa's Garden
When you need every one and everything around you to just stop.
One of the parts of Medusa's myth is that after she was slain, and Pegasus sprung forth from her, Zeus had Pegasus fetch from her, thunder - her voice, and lightening, her stare that froze men. Thunder. The power of women to use their voice.
Which brings me to the next quote that is one of my guiding principles in quote form. It's by Yolo Akili and it's a poem called, "A Message from the Universe."
Remember: Oppression thrives off isolation. Connection is the only thing that can save you.
Remember: Oppression thrives on superficiality. Honesty about your struggles is the key to your liberation.
Remember: Your story can help save someone's life. Your silence contributes to someone else's struggle. Speak so we can all be free. Love so we can all be liberated. The moment is now. We need you.
Your unique expression is needed. Your voice is needed. My expression is needed. My voice is needed. Our authentic, lived experiences, are needed. And when we have the opportunity to connect and to witness each other's unique expressions, it is an honor and a blessing to be present enough to recognize the moment for what the moment is.
I actually have a lot of thoughts on silence and being silenced... Adrienne Rich,On Lies, Secrets, and Silenceis a brilliant book.
But my last quote on the thunderous voice of no longer being silent is this, from Audre Lorde. This too, came at a time that I desperately needed to hear it... My bold again...
Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it's personal. And the world won't end. And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don't miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." And at last you'll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.
Sit with that. Read it again. Let it sink in. Soak in that. Every day is a work in progress on this for me. I can be chatty, but I am definitely experimenting with how and with whom I can safely express my truth - evolution towards the frightening outcome of authentically, confidently speaking my truth.
Guiding principles:
Speak so we can all be free. Love so we can all be liberated. The moment is now. We need you.
"And at last you'll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking."
Ariadne's Yarn: playing with threads
What I'm up to with fiber and possibly how mythology and stories all tie together.
The Welsh black mountain wool is coming along. I'm glad I have five pounds to experiment with and I'm looking forward to seeing the evolution of my ability to effectively card and select which wool to keep and which to scrap.
And tonight! I finally found, stashed away where I swear I've looked many times, my Turkish spindle! I didn't realize how heavy it is. I can spin it supported for a finer thread, so I have some experimenting to do. I'm SO looking forward to this.
I don't have any guiding principles quotes about spinning. I do often contemplate the creation of order as I watch the fibers draft into a thread that will support more than any of the individual fibers could support.
So... maybe this will suffice for now - from Rumi:
“We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.”
Mythic Librarian: the art of arranging a life
Thoughts on ontology and ways to organize a life.
Some last thoughts. When my hopes get too grand about when the world finally changes, how wonderful it will be... I realize now is when the world changes. It's a variant on 'before/after enlightenment, chop wood/carry water.' This is a quote from a small book by "Sparrow" called "The Little Red Book".
Before a revolution, a revolutionist leads a daring and romantic life. After a successful revolution, she must erect a distribution system for canned olives.
What would you do after the revolution? Do that today. Do that now. Does your community need a distribution system for canned olives? Build that. Do you need a new playground for the local elementary school? Do it. Don't wait for the revolution. This *is* the revolution.
And the final guiding principle from a friend and former co-worker - she had it written on her whiteboard and I adopted it as well -"What small step can you take today to make the world better?" That. Do that.