M2 has been lecturing me over fonts. She thinks my default font is boooring. As we were talking tonight, I asked her what I should write about. The first thing she said to me was, "You need a *hook*. You know, something to draw them in. ...What? They drill this stuff into our heads in school!" Then she said the thing that she's been thinking about a lot lately has been a phrase she read recently - "You don't have to be grateful that it isn't worse."
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself! - Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week as I was writing the newsletter, we were on our way to visit the in-laws. I was fretting about friends of friends, and having a sick cat. I'm happy to say at least the cat is doing better.
This week, M1 had her wisdom teeth out. Sometimes she tries to smile and says, "OW."
M2 has been lecturing me over fonts. She thinks my default font is boooring. As we were talking tonight, I asked her what I should write about. The first thing she said to me was, "You need a *hook*. You know, something to draw them in. ...What? They drill this stuff into our heads in school!" Then she said the thing that she's been thinking about a lot lately has been a phrase she read recently - "You don't have to be grateful that it isn't worse." This reminds me of a thing a friend used to say - "There are no oppression Olympics." E.g., it's not a competition. Regardless that things *could* be worse, challenges are still something that need to be worked through, and experiencing challenges and difficulties are valid without comparison.
This ties into something that I'd been talking with my physical therapist about. We were talking about the difficulty of 'growing up' and realizing that there will always be others who are better, faster, stronger, smarter (worse, slower, weaker, less smart)... any qualifier you care to use, than you. Their being in no way diminishes your own being. Their experiences in no way diminish your own experiences - unless you choose to be competitive about it, but that's on you, not them. I remember thinking I was really into cooking. And then I met actual foodies. I like cooking what I cook and they're *way* more into it than I am and... it doesn't seem like very much fun for them for how obsessed they are with it but sometimes they seem excited about it all, so more power to them! But I think that was the first time I realized that I could be happy about doing something and there were going to be not only other people who were *way* more into it than me, but obsessively, competitively way more into it... and that I didn't have to feel bad about not being as whatever. Because it's not a competition.
So now that's what I'm thinking about too. I don't have to be grateful that it isn't worse. And there is no such thing as oppression Olympics. Which also reminds me of the brilliant Ring Theory of Trauma. Summed up it's 'comfort in, dump out.' I'm pretty terrible at this sometimes because how I instinctively want to show I care is by trying to help or fix. Not always so helpful or comforting. But we're working on that.
With love and curiosity,
--Susan