You belong to each other. -- Melanie Dewberry
Yep. That pretty much sums up what I've been thinking about since I last wrote a missive to y'all. As it turns out, Friday I was feeling not great. Of course, I figured *lots* of people in America were not feeling great and I was probably in good company just feeling really stressed and concerned about the state of the union. Right? Fair enough? By bedtime I was shake-y and a few hours later... I was really glad I'd brought a bowl into the bedroom with me.
My attempt to participate in The March ended up being... lining up my ginger ale bottles, water, and a diet coke can. Sick solidarity, yo.
Watching my facebook feed this week, I realized that I'm getting sucked into the outrage filter and 'what's coming next!?' panic. Granted, glued to the couch was about where it was at for me for around 48 hours, so not really any lost time there, but then when I started feeling better, I felt absorbing inclination to Keep Checking In and realized it could be a problem. In the checking in, though, I've started noticing something else as well -- people asking how others are coping.
For a while, before I realized that Mythic Librarian was what I was going to land with, I toyed with a couple of other ideas. Phix's Curiosity was one of them, just as an outlet to explore all the things I encountered in a day that sparked my interest. The other was Medusa's Garden which would have been all about self care. As it stands, Phix and Medusa are sort of folded in here. One of the realizations that led me not to focus all my efforts on Medusa were that self care is wrapped up in gigantic systemic issues. A great bath is no match for a series of systems set up to defeat realistic life management capabilities. At best it's an extremely temporary balm, but it doesn't address the root of the issue at all, and only barely addresses any symptoms. Self care, in a lot of ways, is actually something that can only happen in a supportive community. Who hasn't had that boss that denied you a day off when you really needed it? And who hasn't pushed through a cold because ugh, the mess will still be here when I get back, I may as well just keep going? Not that I might not eventually develop Medusa's Garden bath salts or something, though ("For when you need the world to Stop Coming At You")!
The stories of self care that have been coming through have been similar and I think worth noting. These are some of the helpful stories I'm hearing.
People are limiting their time on social media. This makes a lot of sense, it reduces the input into an overwhelmed system. There gets to be a point where one can reach analysis paralysis, the inability to prioritize because there are so many high priority actions that need to be taken, that one can no longer make a decision about which meaningful action to take. It isn't about putting your head in the sand and ignoring everything happening, it's about taking time to be more intentional about what sources and how much time you are willing to give to the different streams of information options coming at you.
After limiting incoming information, finding some way to take action (think calling senators and representatives, attending town halls, donating money or time to supported causes, or learning how to run for office/do political field work, etc). Finding a way to contribute constructively, even if it feels small, is helpful to taking care not only of yourself, but others too.
Within that, focusing on what actions you can take. We can't do it all. The thing I just said about having so many priorities that you end up with decision paralysis is something that we all need to be aware of. One of my favorite sayings right now is something like, 'you can't do it all alone, but if each of us does a little bit, we can do it all together.' We can do what we need to do here, but that means we all need to pick a piece to work on. One of the things I see happening often is the 'circular firing squad' and the 'who's more oppressed' oneupsmanship. We cannot each all do all the things, and trying to diffuses our power. We can be supportive of things that we are not directly involved in. I can be supportive of #nodapl and #blacklivesmatter while I focus the energy and time I have on information dissemination (libraries are critical for functioning democracies, especially ones in this condition), for example. The important thing is to be doing something and not waiting for others. Waiting just leads to everyone thinking someone else has got it covered.
The final thing I think I'll touch on that I'm seeing is people recognizing that they just need to check out entirely for a couple days so they can come back to the fight again. The lead up to inauguration was a haul. I am hoping that people learned in those three-ish months a bit about stepping out of the stream, and then stepping back into it. It's going to be a much longer haul from here, and we're going to all need to step in and out, and support each other in taking care of ourselves and each other.
It's up to us to take care of ourselves and each other. It has always been up to us to take care of ourselves and each other - and now it is critical.
With love, rebellion, and curiosity,
--Susan