Into the Woods

“Learn from spiders. Sometimes you need to walk sideways.” 
― Maureen Joyce Connolly

Come into the woods and I'll tell you a story...

Of a spider (A1414.7.5), of fire (A1414.7.5), of a stargazer (J2133.8), of secrets overheard (N450)...

Come into the woods and I'll tell you a story - before there was electricity, there was fire; before there was fire, the world was cold and dark and things were dire. 

Have you ever seen a spider web, floating in the midst of a garden, hanging there suspended in midair as if hanging from the very breezes themselves?  Strung so far between whatever it's been strung to that you're not entirely sure how Spider got herself such a pretty seat in the middle of everything?

It is this very power that Spider has that she can do most amazing things.  One day she decided she had enough of the cold and the dark and the dire.  When she looked up at night, she saw the stars twinkling way far away with the faintest of glimmerings deep in the sky.  There - that one was faintly blue, and there, that one was faintly a cozy warm orange, that one a cool white, and another a iridescent shimmering yellow. 

Spider thought to herself, "What a pretty sight - if I bring some of them back, perhaps things will appear a little less dire, with a little more light..." With that, she set on her journey. 

The first drafted thread landed her in a nearby town.  She went up to an old man and said - I will return with the fire of the stars, have you need in your home?  He said, you are foolish little spider, you cannot reach the stars, they are far away in the frozen wastes of the night.  And the stars twinkled down at him catching his eye.  "I see..." said she. And she took her leave.  The stars continued to twinkle, and the man distracted did not see where he was going and fell into a well.

Spider caught the next draft of thread in the breeze and alighted in a field.  It was so very very quiet, she could hear the whispers of the world all around her.  The man in the well had doubted her, but everywhere the whispers of the need for light, the need for warmth, and the need for sparks and glittering joy, whispers across time and space, whispers of longing and awe, secret whispers of mysteries.  She looked up at the sky as a whisper passed her by, light as her own threads on the breeze - "If one would climb to the stars, they must be very light indeed." 

This gave Spider confidence for who else could sit suspended on the breezes in their seat like she?  And so, into the deep, cold night she sent out a drift of thread to the top of the nearest tree, gave it a gentle tug to anchor it, and let the breeze catch her on the other end, she floated up into the sky, but the stars were still far above.  She sent the next thread out, where it anchored she didn't know, but onward she went, drifting up and up and up time and time again. 

The little stars started getting bigger, and closer, and warmer, their twinkling turned into crackling and then into roaring. She dared not look down now, the earth was so far away under her, it was as ephemeral as the stars had been, twinkling in the cold still night.

Now she could anchor her strands from star to star.  Quickly she gathered bits of the faint blue star, of the iridescent yellow star, the warm orange star, the cool white star into the basket on her back and started to let herself ease back down towards the earth. 

Drifting down would not work now, she tugged on the anchor line to the tall tree and pulled it taut to where she was and purposefully made her way down the strand.  This was warm work - hotter than she expected.  Closer and closer to earth, warmer and warmer she got. 

Her basket burst into flames - and to save herself she threw it from her back.  The basket released the sun into the sky - bits and pieces of burnt basket fell to the earth and infused the earth with warmth and light.  Some people learned you could strike rocks together to release their fire.  Some light was infused into tiny creatures along the tideline that light up as they're jostled as the waves rush towards the shore or paddles strike the water.  Some insects ate the fire and seem to glow from the inside with light. 

Spider let herself drift back down to earth, lit and warm with the nearby twinkling of stars, of the sun that lights the sky during the day, and the moon that reflects the light at night.  An evening's work well done.  She threw her strands to the breezes, and floated there in the midst of a garden, hanging there suspended in midair as if hanging from the very breezes themselves, sitting in such a pretty seat in the middle of everything, satisfied with the light and the warmth she had brought back from the sky.

An' the wheel bend, an' the story end.

Just Some Music

Phix's Curiosity: what sparks my interest

Watch this space to see what's sparked my interest this week.  A random grab bag of delights!
 

New Year's Day - U2

And so we're told this is the golden age
And gold is the reason for the wars we wage
Though I want to be with you, be with you
Night and day
Nothing changes
On New Year's Day
  

Medusa's Garden

When you need every one and everything around you to just stop.
 

Garbage - Metal Heart

I wish I had a metal heart
I could cross the line
 

Ariadne's Yarn: playing with threads

What I'm up to with fiber and possibly how mythology and stories all tie together.
 

Dead Or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) (Official Video)
You spin me right round, baby
Right round like a record, baby
Right round round round
 

Mythic Librarian: the art of arranging a life 

Thoughts on ontology and ways to organize a life.
 

Jane Siberry & KD Lang - Calling All Angels

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this world
don't leave me alone
calling all angels
calling all angels
we're tryin' and we're hopin'
but we're not sure how this goes...

Reflection and Revelry

Phix's Curiosity: what sparks my interest

Watch this space to see what's sparked my interest this week.  A random grab bag of delights!

The wrap up is in full swing now. Presents, year, all of it.  Two more working days of this year, and then reflection and revelry ahoy!  The process of reviewing and assessing at the year end is always an interesting process.  I have a list of questions I go through every year just so I can look back year over year over year to see how answers shift and change (or don't).  It's always sort of curious when patterns start emerging.  
  

Medusa's Garden

When you need every one and everything around you to just stop.

This time of year is traditionally really busy - an incidental lot of birthdays plus all the year end celebrations means there's just a lot going on.  Working through this time of year is just... no.  It's hard enough keeping up with all the events!  Finding time to reflect, to wrap up, to release the old and make way for the new can be easy to lose in the hustle and bustle!  There's something, for me, about sitting near the tree, with all it's lights, with all the ornaments, each with its associated memory, 

When we started out, we had mostly the round glass ornaments, over the years, they've broken and others have come in and replaced them, little hand prints from when the girls were small, ornaments from friends when I was small, handmade ornaments from family, brought back from overseas, humorous, detailed and well-crafted, all of them lovely and meaningful, sweetly chaotic. We do not have a match-y match-y instagram-perfect tree. I love our trees, they are so very *us*. 
 

Ariadne's Yarn: playing with threads

What I'm up to with fiber and possibly how mythology and stories all tie together.

I'm... not doing a lot right now.  I look forward to working some on the hat, getting some more spinning done, and -- OoooOooo, my new Ply Magazine came this week and it's all about socks - I may be brave and try to learn the two socks at once method so they (maybe?) end up the same size!  Socks are the perfect size for me to knit, but I always worry that they're going to come out different.  They bear experimenting with though.  A girl can have enough gloves and hats and scarves, but can one really ever have enough socks? Really?

Mythic Librarian: the art of arranging a life 

Thoughts on ontology and ways to organize a life.

So around the edges of all the things going on, life does it's subtle and not so subtle shifting around. Endings end, new spaces open for new beginnings, new beginnings quietly start formulating their ideas whether they start emerging now or not. 

It is yet to be determined whether this is the last newsletter of this year.  We shall see.  In the event it is, I wish you happy holidays and a fabulous new year.  And if it isn't, then the same all the same.

Endless Looping Cycles

“To love means to embrace and at the same time to withstand many endings, and many many beginnings—all in the same relationship.”  ― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Phix's Curiosity: what sparks my interest

Watch this space to see what's sparked my interest this week.  A random grab bag of delights!

It's the end of the year.  For me, this is a reflective month as I look back over the last 12 months and think about what I want to take with me in the next 12 months.   What could I never have anticipated in the last 12 months?  Wondering what I can't anticipate in the next 12.  What do I need to start planning for?  Some things are locking into place, other things remain as fuzzy as always.  
  

Medusa's Garden

When you need every one and everything around you to just stop.

Sometimes the only thing I need to stop is my brain.  If it can be overthought, I've possibly overthought it.  Please don't ask me if I've overthought something because if it hasn't occurred to me yet to overthink it, you've just ensured that I will now do that very thing.  Meditating has really helped reduce that tendency, and lately I'm remembering that good exercise also does the same. Meditation helps me start recognizing patterns and being able to quietly, calmly recognize the stories I tell myself as exactly that - stories.  And to pry around the edges of those stories and patterns to see if and how justified they are.  Exercise just shuts everything down and re-centers me in my body. 

In movement I get out of my head and into my body.  It sounds weird to say, but someone once aptly described it as being a floating head.  The classic Cartesian duality of mind as separated from the body.  I don't actually believe that's the case, but I do believe that sometimes the mind can get so wrapped up in doing its own thing that it forgets about the physical matter it's tethered to and is a part of. And so, it's nice to go for a walk, even if it's on a treadmill, and feel my awareness shift from somewhere behind my eyes to down the back of my neck, out into my shoulders, down my arms, into my chest, then belly, down over my hips, down my legs, into my calves, my ankles, and all 56 bones in my feet.  Coming back into my whole body. 

When I go to the Y, and have to do the walking on the treadmill, I turn the music up loud enough that I (mostly) can't hear the other machines, then I find a stabilizing hand rest, close  my eyes and walk. Sometimes I sing along under my breath, silently.  Home - home from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and all is right as I re-center, fully in my body.
 

Ariadne's Yarn: playing with threads

What I'm up to with fiber and possibly how mythology and stories all tie together.

I'm knitting a HAT now.  And spinning pretty purple merino.  Slowly. I'm trying to go slow because I have so much that I've spun that needs to be made into things that I feel like I really ought to do a bunch of knitting and weaving and also this is my last hank of roving before I'm entirely out.  Which can be remedied, sure, but... I'm looking on in a bit of horror at the amount of yarn piling up and wondering what I'm going to do with all of it.  I think I'm in that terrible space between spin more than I can use and don't spin enough to actually sell it (and certainly not at any kind of cost that would compensate time and labor, lol!). I wonder if the local yarn store would sell on consignment...

Random entertaining thought that I think I will probably not do - you know how as a kid some kids put playing cards on the wheels of their bicycles so they'd have bikes that (sorta) made motor noises?  Yeah - that on my spinning wheel. I crack me up.
 

Mythic Librarian: the art of arranging a life 

Thoughts on ontology and ways to organize a life.

Coming home, cleaning out the old to make room for the new, year ends that are beginnings.  The endless looping cycles around the sun. Looping and looping and looping. 

“Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. I've felt that many times. My hope for all of us is that "the miles we go before we sleep" will be filled with all the feelings that come from deep caring - delight, sadness, joy, wisdom - and that in all the endings of our life, we will be able to see the new beginnings.” 
― Fred Rogers

Thanks for reading my newsletter and listening to me ramble on about my loopings and loopings and loopings. 💕

Fun and Games

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.” ― Tahereh Mafi

Phix's Curiosity: what sparks my interest

Watch this space to see what's sparked my interest this week.  A random grab bag of delights!

Moments of realization. They're so strange sometimes.  Recently a friend described me using words I'd used for myself this summer/early fall and I startled with the realization that I had outgrown that skin. Now I have a shiny new skin. I have what I learned in that old skin as a tool in my toolbox, but I don't have to rely on it day to day. It's a relief to realize I'm in a different space. 

I'm also in a space where I have so much opportunity - my limit is almost only myself right now. Which is both freeing and... sort of alarming. But I think it's going to be fun... more about fun in a bit...
  

Medusa's Garden

When you need every one and everything around you to just stop.

What do you do when you don't want things to stop? When the garden is lonely? When what you need to refill your heart and mind and soul is no longer solitude but long, deep conversations, heart-felt connection, joy and wonder with friends, projects and work that is satisfying and rewarding?  How do you step out of the garden or invite friends in for a garden party? 
 

Ariadne's Yarn: playing with threads

What I'm up to with fiber and possibly how mythology and stories all tie together.

At Halloween I treated myself to a lovely merino-silk blend, four ounces, of black, grey, orange, and white.  All spun up and I just need to set it tonight.  As with most things I spin up, not sure what it's going to be quite yet, but I'm looking forward to seeing what this turns into. :)

Now it's back to spinning up the amethyst mixed color merino that I was working on.  I'm still working on the scarf... I need to wrap that up and get something else on the needles & something on the loom.  The loom is cold and ready to be set up again. 
 

Mythic Librarian: the art of arranging a life 

Thoughts on ontology and ways to organize a life.

So the same friend and I were talking at lunch today, and it comes up that they'd been to a talk by a fellow who had framed some epic adventure using three types of fun (am waiting for confirmation that it was a talk by this guy -Suffering for the Fun of It). Basically, there are three types of fun:

• Fun that's fun while you're doing it, fun in the moment.

• Fun that's work while you're doing it, but you look back on and realize it was fun and it provides a significant sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

• And the third type is "fun" - the things that aren't fun at all in the moment or really after, but that you *sort of* laugh about around a campfire or wherever at the sheer ridiculousness or epicness... it's the "well, that was a good story anyway..." The stuff you do when you think, "Well... I guess I'll probably laugh about this... someday... maybe..."

It had not occurred to me that there might be a taxonomy of fun, but there it is!  There are, of course, more types of fun than just these, but in the moment and in retrospect it was a fun conversation. :)

Dancing in Darkness

“Rage — whether in reaction to social injustice, or to our leaders’ insanity, or to those who threaten or harm us — is a powerful energy that, with diligent practice, can be transformed into fierce compassion.” ― Bonnie Myotai Treace

Phix's Curiosity: what sparks my interest

Watch this space to see what's sparked my interest this week.  A random grab bag of delights!

The election is over. We won some, lost some, and now is no time to get comfortable with it - the work continues.

I'm settling in to working from home.  Sure, there are occasional jaunts to various locations, but it's weird and sort of isolating to not go in and laugh with people and walk down halls with them... I'm doing ok on the getting lunch with people front, so far anyway.  Need to work on getting out for walks .  But... generally settling in.  It's... weird at the moment though!
  

Medusa's Garden

When you need every one and everything around you to just stop.

One of the advantages of working from home is that when i need things to stop so my brain can catch up and make sense, I can actually take a half hour and lie down.  Whether I sleep or not is a different matter, but I can pause, let my brain run in the background and come back to a problem with a fresh mind.  I mean, can't pop out of the middle of a meeting but generally it works.  I also need to remember that just like at work, I can go for a walk for the same sort of fix. :)
 

Ariadne's Yarn: playing with threads

What I'm up to with fiber and possibly how mythology and stories all tie together.

Have been spinning up some Halloween yarn - merino and silk in black, orange, grey, and white.  I'm still working on that silk & baby camel scarf - I'm so close to done, but... I... may have discovered chess.  Which.  Is a thing. And it can be distracting from the fiber stuff, but we're working on both now, I guess!

Mythic Librarian: the art of arranging a life 

Thoughts on ontology and ways to organize a life.

Because for too long have women and women of color been told to suppress their rage, suppress their grief in the name of love and forgiveness. But when we suppress our rage, that's when it hardens into hate directed outward, but usually directed inward. But mothering has taught me that all of our emotions are necessary. Joy is the gift of love. Grief is the price of love. Anger is the force that protects it.

Once more -Joy is the gift of love.  Grief is the price of love. Anger is the force that protects love. The idea that anger is the force that protects love was really striking to me. This quote is from this TED talk -3 Lessons of Revolutionary Love in a Time of Rageby Valeri Kaur.  

The other quote that really struck me from this talk was this one...

And we dance. In the darkness, we breathe and we dance. Our family becomes a pocket of revolutionary love. Our joy is an act of moral resistance. How are you protecting your joy each day? Because in joy we see even darkness with new eyes.

I'm reminded both of the saying that ''friends are family we choose', as well as, 'We are all 32nd cousins to some degree of removed, some of us closer than that - we are all family. Dance in the darkness together, my friends=family. Find joy in connecting and protect that joy and love. <3
 

May we find our way through our rage to a better world because we protected what we love with our anger, that we love ourselves as much as we love others and worth our anger to protect ourselves and others, and that we practice joy as moral resistance every single day.